Depression (not a positive thing)

So I wrote the other day about how this medication helps my migraines. And that is really great. But the downside is that one of the side effects is depression. I already have depression. I was doing OK, but a few weeks ago I increased the dose and the depression monster seems to have caught up with me. I recently read about how this medication should never be given to people with depressive tendencies because the risk of suicide increases quite a bit. I guess my neurologist either didn’t know how bad it was or took the risk. He said to call if I had any side effects of that kind. But the thing about depression is that it lies*. It makes you forget about brain chemistry and medications playing with your mind. It starts telling you that your life is meaningless and no one loves you and never will, and you start to believe it. If you realise that it’s that stupid little pill that makes you feel this way, maybe you can ride it out. Tell yourself it will pass when your body acclimates to the medication (or you stop taking it. Whatever you and your doctor decide). I thought I knew this by now. But the lying bitch monster keeps talking and I keep listening. I was talking to a friend last night and told her how I wasn’t feeling well and it wasn’t until then, when she asked me why, that I realised it could be the medication.

*I don’t directly quote Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) here, but since she has kind of made “depression lies” a thing, it wouldn’t feel right to not mention her.