onsdag 14 november 2018

Forgive yourself. Maybe you didn’t do everything you intended, maybe you didn’t even leave the house. Maybe your house is a mess. Maybe you made a mistake at work. It’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes. Depression will tell you you’re a failure, but you are not. Depression lies.

I needed this reminder. Putting it out there in case anyone else needs it too.

The glass half sane

tisdag 6 november 2018

It’s been a rough few weeks, but I’m slowly getting back on my feet. Trying to practice some self care. And look how well I’m doing at drinking water; my plant is happy!

(Plant Nanny is an app where you have a virtual plant that you water every time you have a drink of water, and it sends you reminders to drink/water. It’s not the app of the year or anything, it’s pretty boring, but I really need something to help me remember to drink because sometimes I don’t feel thirsty but then I get dehydrated and that is really crappy.)

The glass half sane

torsdag 18 oktober 2018

Positive things, day 52, 53 & 54

I started writing a post last night. I wrote all of six words before being distracted by something else and then I fell asleep.

I went to pick up another package yesterday after work. Not something I bought myself this time, but a late birthday present from my brother. I already knew it was books, but I wasn’t sure which ones. It was one I have had my eye on for a while, Thing Explainer by Randall Monroe, and Sparrow Hill Road by Seanan McGuire. I discovered McGuire earlier this year and have since read a short story and four novellas. She’s... ah, I can’t explain her. There’s a certain magic in her stories. And I mean that both in the literal way that the ones I’ve read so far have featured witches and ghosts and portals to other worlds, but also the kind of indefinable magic some authors have that make you feel that reading their books have you under a wonderful spell, you know?

I also enjoyed the walk from the pick-up place, because it was a nice day and a route I had not walked before. I used to do that quite often, purposefully get lost and find my way again. For a while, I went to university in a big city, and after class, I would make little explorations. This city I live in now isn’t as big, and having lived here eight years, I don’t think there’s enough of it I don’t know to take long, meandering “lost” walks, but I haven’t seen it all, and that pleases me. While I am a bit sad because I so rarely stray from my routine. It’s all about getting from A to B, from home to work or the shops or wherever and back home. I guess that’s the thing about getting older, working a full-time job, and also living with pain and depression that limits what you’re able to and have energy for. But also that I feel I’ve lost that spirit for exploring the unknown. But the good news here, I think, is that there are still glimpses of it, and maybe those glimpses can be encouraged.

Viaplay is putting Grey’s Anatomy back on! All the seasons. That show just never gets old for me. The first few seasons I must have seen five or six times, but I can still start over again. It’s odd to say it’s my feel-good show because of all the tragedy and I have genuinely ugly-cried over deaths and break-ups in the show. But I love it. Maybe it’s that it makes me feel like my life doesn’t suck so much. And great music too. There are artists I listen to loads that I have discovered through Grey’s.

QI. Hilarious and informative. If you don’t know it, it’s a British quiz show about just about everything, with mainly comedians as guests and there are lots of episodes on YouTube.

That took me a couple of hours (with distractions), but managed to think of a few positives. I’ll try to start thinking of things earlier in the day. Tomorrow is Friday, so hey, that’s a positive for then already. But hopefully something will be better about it than that. We’ll see.

The glass half sane

måndag 15 oktober 2018

Positive things, day 51

I picked up a couple of packages today. Indulged in a few things for myself. One was Hank Green’s book, which I’m excited to read. Pre-ordered it ages ago, and then it arrived week before last but I’ve been too lazy/busy (busy in the work week, lazy on weekends) to get to the post office. The other was a mix of things. A couple of jigsaw puzzles. A Harry Potter deck of cards, which was a disappointment. I thought there would be more different pictures. The Jack, Queen and King cards are the same. I also got a couple of Halloween-y things. A small witch hat attached to an Alice band, a black cloak and a pentagram necklace. I don’t know what I’m doing for Halloween yet, but they were cheap and it’s always good to have some witchy accessories. For emergencies.

Overall, I’m pleased with my purchases and happy I finally picked them up. Check that off my to-do list.

Oh, and the weather! It’s warm and lovely again. Which reminds me, I was gonna look up why it’s called Indian summer. *Googles* OK, so nobody knows. But I found this little gem: ”In Gaelic Ireland, the phenomenon is called "fómhar beag na ngéanna" (little autumn of the geese).” So I know what I’ll be calling it from now on.

The glass half sane

söndag 14 oktober 2018

Hi blog. It’s been a while

Last time, I said I was back, and then I was gone for two months. But I need this. I’m doing better though.  For now. I’m in the process of switching antidepressants, so who knows what’s gonna be happening. Good times, I’m sure. But hopefully the end result is feeling better. And with a medication that doesn’t upset my stomach as much. I hope.

What else is new? Well, my neurologist is getting me on the new migraine medication when it finally comes out, which should be in the next few months. I’ve been hearing about this one for a couple of years now, this wonder drug that seems to work for a lot of people and with very few side effects. Of course there’s no guarantee it will work on me, but there is good hope.

I got my dishwasher installed! It’s amazing. I feel slightly pathetic every time I mention that to someone, but then they’ve sounded genuinely excited for me. I guess they hate doing the dishes as much as me. I tend to let dishes pile up until I feel like a disgusting slob, and now I can stop doing that, and ahhh, I’m happy.

I picked up my cross stitch again. I started something for a friend’s baby, a bib that has an aida fabric bit on it so it’s easy to stitch on, and selected two little animal designs for it. I had a white one I was going to use, but before I had even started stitching on it, I noticed a seam coming loose, and there’s no easy way to fix it so it will look good and stay in place because they haven’t left enough fabric for that bit to fit together well in the first place. So it’s lucky I had a back-up. I only started a little bit though, ‘cause I don’t have all the colours for it. Gonna stop by the craft store tomorrow. But once I’d taken all my stuff out and was in a crafty mood, I picked up another project that’s been in progress for a while. I so rarely finish things except for small ones for gifts. I want to finish some of the bigger ones I have going.

This is one of the animals that are going on the bib. Isn’t it cute? I love this Etsy shop, it’s the same one I got the design for mom’s birthday card from. Lots of cute and funny designs that are quick and easy to do for cards and things. Lots of pun-based ones. (This is not a sponsored post, lol.)


(I wish I could make the photo itself link to the site. Can you do that? But then people wouldn’t see that it’s a link, so maybe that isn’t better at all.) (And now the photo isn’t even showing up. All right then. Just click the link.)

Hopefully back tomorrow!

The glass half sane

torsdag 9 augusti 2018

Back in the saddle again

Sorry, dear blog. I’ve been very lazy this summer. But I will not let this effort die! I need this blog. I need to do something positive. I’ve been doing OK, psychologically, I think. But I do sometimes feel unproductive. I need to do more things. And I think one part, and yes it’s a small part but still, is writing about things. Like my online therapy programme said, when we’re depressed, we’re not doing enough of the things that make us feel good. We may need help to figure out what those things are. And that is kind of partly what this blog does. What made you feel good today? Write it down! Remember it! Then do more of it! And share it with us.

The glass half sane

fredag 13 juli 2018

Positive things, day I don’t know, I suck

So I promised I’d get back to this after vacation but I forgot. Sorry.

Some positives this week:

I finally finished the first set of homework for therapy. I’m an excellent procrastinator, but I’ll work on that.

I got accepted to at least one of the uni classes I applied for (internet-based part-time courses, ‘cause I thought it might be nice to do some learning again but I’m still gonna work, not be a full time-student again. This is for fun.) But because I’ve lost my password, I can’t access the system to check. I can get a new one, but it would just be easier if I can find the one I have. I know I was accepted to the math class because they sent an email. But my first choice was French. French would be more useful. I’ve studied a lot of French but I still can’t speak it. I think I need practice speaking though, and I don’t know how well an internet course is going to give me that.

That brings me to another one. I’ve started using Duolingo again for learning French. My brother mentioned using it, so I was reminded. I still had it on my phone, I just forget to use it. But I’ve got a three day streak going now.

Speaking of phones, I ordered a new one. It’s waiting for me at the post office actually, gonna pick it up tomorrow. Since I got this one on a kind of lease-thing rather than buying it outright, I now (after two years) had to decide whether to pay the difference for keeping it or buy a new one. This one is still working OK for the most part, but there is this thing with the sound. I only get sound in one ear when using earphones, and it used to not bother me because I had a piercing in the other ear that stopped me from comfortably having an earphone there anyway, especially because it took ages to heal completely and I didn’t want to risk introducing any bacteria to the area. But now I’ve taken the piercing out, and I didn’t want to pay to keep a two-year old phone with that problem.

Pride is coming up in my city, and I’ve been thinking previous years that it’s a shame that my work doesn’t participate in the parade since a lot of organisations and agencies do. I mean, if other government agencies take that kind of stand, there shouldn’t be a problem with it, shouldn’t there? But this year, we are, kind of. We have a group that works against discrimination in our workplace, and lgbtq+ is obviously a big part of that, so this year they are gathering people to walk together. So that’s a cool thing that’s happening. I signed up to walk with them of course. Maybe now I’ll finally find out who the lgbtq+ people at work are, ha. We’re a huge work place and I know almost no one (I mean, I haven’t asked everyone, but among the people I know, few have pinged on my gaydar).