A reflection while I wait for my take-out order

I had a friend. A new friend, but we found each other fast, and I was really glad. And then, something happened. Or nothing happened. But I haven’t seen her in over a year. She was having mental health problems and said she didn’t have the energy to do anything. I get that. I so get that. I just hoped we could support each other instead of shutting each other out. She didn’t even reply when I wished her happy birthday. And that made me think, is this friendship on pause or is it over? I still hope it’s not over. And I didn’t mean to write all this, I just thought of her because I’m at the restaurant we went to together a few times and my brain did a sad “this was our place”, and it made me think how it was like we’re a parted couple, which was kind of funny because we’re not, but also not funny because regardless, I miss her.

How far I’ve come

Something reminded me of a medical problem I had a few years ago. It was minor, but still something I should have gotten checked up, but at that point in my life, I didn’t go to doctors. The mere thought of calling to make an appointment, or calling any stranger at all, would have me in a cold sweat. And now I pick up the phone and call the clinic without hesitation. It’s so weird, and so wonderful, how my social anxiety has diminished. I still have issues with some situations, depending on my mental state at the time, but they are fewer and occur less often. It’s good to be reminded of that sometimes, especially lately when I’ve felt like I’m failing at life. At least I’ve made progress.

Try to think of something you’ve improved at. And if you can’t think of anything, maybe your change is just around the corner.

Love,

The glass half sane

Forgive yourself. Maybe you didn’t do everything you intended, maybe you didn’t even leave the house. Maybe your house is a mess. Maybe you made a mistake at work. It’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes. Depression will tell you you’re a failure, but you are not. Depression lies.

I needed this reminder. Putting it out there in case anyone else needs it too.

Love,

The glass half sane

It’s been a rough few weeks, but I’m slowly getting back on my feet. Trying to practice some self care. And look how well I’m doing at drinking water; my plant is happy!

(Plant Nanny is an app where you have a virtual plant that you water every time you have a drink of water, and it sends you reminders to drink/water. It’s not the app of the year or anything, it’s pretty boring, but I really need something to help me remember to drink because sometimes I don’t feel thirsty but then I get dehydrated and that is really crappy.)

Love,

The glass half sane